Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
