Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
