I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
