were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
