The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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