Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
