I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
