i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
