they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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