nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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