Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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