Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
