afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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