After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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