That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
