i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
