it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
