got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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