8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have post one night stand depression
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