come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
