Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize