you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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