shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
