I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
