frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
