Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
