I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
