Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
