My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
