is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
