and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
