why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
