If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
