It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
