rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
