thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
