I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
