My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
