i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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