Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
