she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
