i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
