Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You may now shotgun with the bride
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
