there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This baby is an asshole
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
