you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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