His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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