i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
