everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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