I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
