Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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